As most of you know that I grew up without my father there for 90% of the time and when he was there he was asshole, I`ve made peace with that part of my life but I never knew that it had such a negative impact on me, when it comes to having sons of my own. Not having him there as example, growing up of what a father was, left me quite paralyzed.
Growing up with women around me, made me confident that I could handle having daughters but boys on the other hand were something out of the norm for me, I couldn`t be the father they want me to be if I never had that person in my life.
All that changed when I met my beautiful little brother Fabio, who has helped me change that mindset and made me understand that I could be a father to a son, because of our relationship. I treated him like my son without knowing I was doing that and he came to me like I was his father, it was weird at first but I felt so comfortable in that role that it made me confident enough to know that I would be a great father and I now want to have sons.
Dear Dad :I never thought It was possible to hate someone this much. The fact that you created me, that I am a part of you, makes my skin crawl. You are everything I hope to never become; you are the most selfish person I’ve ever met. To put your own needs in front of the needs of your children is exactly why I don’t refer to you as a parent. You haven’t been a parent since I was a baby and even then you were a half assed one.
You only do things for people in the hopes of getting something in return. You use people, you lie, you cheat and you don’t even know what the word respect means. Your own self inflated ego is more important to you than your family. You honestly disgust me beyond belief. I can only pray that when I become a father not a single ounce of you show through in me, because my children deserve better than what I got. No one needs or wants a dead beat dad, and I certainly have never needed you. Not now, not ever.
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