Uplifting Words Of Wisdom From: Necole Kane, Jill Scott,Erykah Badu And Many More

"I still have so much time. I don’t want to rush just for the sake of saying, I got married. If I stood next to a woman, the same age that got married and divorced, guess what, we are both in the same boat. It doesn’t make her a better woman than me because she jumped the broom at one point, and it doesn’t make me a better woman than her just because I chased success before marriage. AT the end of the day, we both learned from our experiences and our choices. So to answer your question, just because I haven’t gotten married yet, doesn’t mean I never will. I still have a very positive outlook on what the future holds and I’m so proud of the woman I’ve become as I navigated adulthood. I went from having this long list of wants to just, ‘I want to marry someone I admire and who will walk in purpose with me.’
I can only hope that when I do get married, I have a life partner who loves and cherishes me and everything I bring to the table. I think for the most part, women just want to be secure in knowing that their husbands believe they are one of the best things that have happened to them. That she adds to his life and makes him a better man and vice versa."-Necole Kane
"Finding someone to fall in love with is the hardest part of all, infatuation is easy. We get caught up in someone's looks, or their money, but not the person. Or, we're into someone for a couple of months and then the novelty fades and we're on to the next. Love is bigger than just the emotion for the moment. Love requires patience. It requires communication. It requires and demands mutual respect and understanding. In this quick-paced world, we want immediate gratification. Our idea of love and having that is great, but the immediate gratification of having it all is what most people are after in this microwavable world. That's what makes it such a challenge. We have to change our mentality if we want relationships that will last.

 "It's not about falling for just anybody. You want to love the whole person. I think we're all on a hunt. I think everybody wants to be loved and appreciated and wanted. But, you can't just choose whoever fits the bill. There has to be a connection in a very real way. You have to be there through the good and bad times."-Jill Scott


"There's this natural instinct we have as human beings. Regardless of our position, religion, color or kind, we all have a primal desire for immediate, and almost unwavering, JOY. Eventually, through the experience of events and circumstance, we learn that this desire just may be unreasonable and unnatural. We watch our emotions sway as we are affected and influenced by the energy around us. Our own resistance to "unpleasantness" restricts our movement.

 In a self-medicated state, we start to become addicted to our pain. In some cases it even starts to define us. We wear masks to protect ourselves and alas lose sight of who we are. Drained physically, spiritually and emotionally, we become ill and left with very little energy to cope. Our service to others becomes exhausting. Our breathing becomes shallow. JOY seems so far. Now we are stuck in our own minds, filled with random thoughts and collected fears.

 This place has become our world. We know we are imbalanced. Something must change. How do we portion our busy lives to give the proper attention to our inner beings; the part of us that, at its core, regulates our mental, emotional and vital wellness? Perhaps we change our state of being by taking a look inside and simply changing our perspective and perception.

 The wise woman knows instinctually that in order to truly realize herself she must be still. She must give up things that no longer evolve her by first identifying what they are. She realizes that the ultimate human JOY we seek can only be found in the full acceptance of who we really are and not in the avatars we've created to define ourselves. When she is fully present and can see her true self clearly, she realizes that the very need for JOY dissolves along with the need to resist pain. She replaces them with humility, for she now trusts the natural flow of life. She becomes one with the all.

 It is in that very moment of complete acceptance where she is transformed. It is in that state of awareness that she expands and contracts and breathes life into her thoughts. She now knows that those thoughts become her reality. She has always known."- Erykah Badu 

"Each of us is responsible for our internal landscape.  It is our issues (thoughts, emotions, beliefs and expectations) that live within us that determines how we respond or react to the people and experience we encounter.  When someone outside of us triggers a response within us, there is always a learning opportunity being presented.  Anger, hurt, resentment, feeling diminished, disrespected, dishonored by something or someone we encounter are normal, human reactions to the experience of having our personal space invaded or our sense of self violated.  The question becomes, why?  Why do we feel that way?  Why are we reacting in this manner to what someone has said or done or, to was has happened?  Why do we make people "wrong" in response to what we feel?  People are who people are.  People do what people do.  Things happen that seem unfair, unjust, unwarranted or unnecessary.  This does not make them wrong or us right.  This is reality.  How we respond to our reality is a matter of choice, not anger.  It is a matter of using our voice rather than feeling victimized.  We all get to choose who we speak to, who we interact with, how we stand or choose not to stand in our relationships with all people.  There are no exceptions.  When someone in your life engages in behavior that you believe is offensive, dishonorable, destructive or unproductive, it is self-honoring, self-supportive and self-loving to protect yourself.  This does not require that you withhold your love and respect from the other person.   What does this remind you of?  When was the first time or the last time you felt this way?  What did you learn then about yourself and, about how you show up in relationships? what have you learned or are you learning about your own boundaries or, lack thereof?   What expectations did you have that are not being fulfilled?  Did you voice these expectations or, did you assume the other person knew what they were?  What agreements have you made that have or have not been voiced?  This and so much more is at the core of our reactions to how people behave.  

 This core must be explored and examined in our current reality so that we can choose how we will respond or engage with others going forward.  Being angry, hurt or upset with someone does not always resolve the issue.  Examining yourself, understanding yourself, choosing what is best for you will, at all times, under all circumstances take you into a deeper awareness of what does and does not work in your life.  It is your responsibility to do what works for you.  It is your responsibility to put an end tot he things that do not work for you.  Both of these things can be done with clear requests, solid boundaries and by making conscious choices.  There is never a good reason to shut down and withhold yourself.  Instead, choose how you will be and communicate that choice to everyone involved in the experience.  

 All things are lessons that God would have us learn.  You are the only one who gets to say what goes on in your life and who comes and goes in your life.  If there is something or someone in your life that you believe does not support or affirm the truth of who you are there is no need to be angry or upset.  Instead, make a choice and stand for yourself in your own life.  With clarity and peace the grows from within yourself, you can still greet a person with love and respect - - - on your own terms."-Iyanla Vanzant
"We must see each other, all of us and we must see ourselves, all of us and we have to continue to be bold and break new ground until this is how it is, until we are no longer 'firsts' and 'exceptions' and 'rare' and 'unique.' In the real world, being an 'other' is the norm. In the real world, the only norm is uniqueness and our media must reflect that."- Kerry Washington
"The truth is, while they’re breaking your heart they probably won’t even have the decency to tell the truth. Like they aren’t really leaving because they have to focus on themselves, they’re leaving because they’re tired of focusing on you. or maybe.. they’re looking to find someone new and place their focus there. The truth is, sometimes true love does end. it isn’t always infinite. Maybe some of the promises he/she made weren’t meant to be broken but the universe stepped in between and interfered. Maybe you were the one they dreamt about.. but sometimes dreams become blurry. sometimes we grow up and grow apart. sometimes the truth is ugly but the growth is lovely. you have to learn to accept and appreciate all of your breakdowns in order to acknowledge your breakthroughs. and.. Truthfully, no matter how distraught you are today.. one day, someday, tomorrow will get better. the sun will beam brighter. & you’ll fall in love all over again."-Reynita Biddy

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